It's great that he had a realization that women are people who have substance and meaning outside of their physicality all because he was an "ugly" female, but the fact that we are even having this conversation or that this video clip has been revelatory for people makes me so mad I could spit. The fact that he is being touted as a hero because he was being a jerk and then was less of a jerk? I guess I should be glad. Somehow I'm not.
I don't know what it's going to take for all of us as a society to really look at people past their physical appearance. Women do it to each other; I'm not just demonizing men here. We all do it all the time.
I've gotten at least one job because I was a skinny, chesty, leggy blonde. I've profited from my looks in the past. I've cashed in on a low cut blouse or two or three, and I've definitely benefited in a town of largely short men by wearing heels that take me way up over 6 feet in height. We do it to ourselves.
And when I begin to really lean into this, I wonder how much of my relationships in the past, back when I presented as the leggy blonde and not the haggard mom that I am now, were based on appearances alone? Some of those friends I made, would they befriend the me I am now? Would we have the long, heart-to-hearts that felt like meetings of the minds, or was that all just a sexual tete-a-tete? How would you know?
Meet people. With presence. SEE them. It's a practice. Open your heart to them and FEEL them. Hold them in your hearts. Listen. Approach with openness, letting your true self be seen. The worst that will happen is you will get hurt. You will get hurt even if you stay behind your protections and various layers of armor and alarms, so greeting the world and all your fellow humans, all beings, with compassion is worth a try.
No comments:
Post a Comment